Crabs in a bucket theory of investing

We preach a lot on TRP about being an "alpha male" but if you have been here long enough, you know that the vast majority of subscribers here as well as people in real life are not conductive to an individual rising from the ashes to become an alpha male. No one will openly say it but we should all remember a simple rule of life, don't pay attention to what people say, pay attention to what they do. I am not where I want to be in life right now but I feel like I have come a long way as someone raised in poverty.

As someone raised in poverty though, I have almost been forced to avoid people from my past and it is tough for me to have an optimistic view of the world. It's not just the real world but also a lot of what I read on TRP that has sort of left me jaded. We say we want each other to do well but our actions say otherwise. Fitness, health, looks, and aesthetics. I give big props to TRP here, we all admit they matter and help each other out in that regard but society is a far cry.

We are slowly getting better about this as a society from what I see, especially since men are told to be fit and given less of a leeway to be overweight and hideous. Still, you see a lot of it going on to where people will try to push you away from getting the most out of your aesthetics and looks. Be prepared to have others call you vain and shallow just because you want to look good.

Social class and money. Money is wicked. Money is root of all evil. Being rich is immoral because all rich people are sociopaths. Wealth doesn't matter and people in poor societies are "happier" than some rich guy. You should be guilty for wanting to be rich and wanting a better life, it's the wrong thing to do. Let me tell you about my friend who is homeless but still fucks hot girls, screw having a six figure salary!

How about social class? Stop judging people based on their looks, shallow people do that! Treat everyone fairly! Treat that loser going no where in life just as fairly as that guy who can help you get places in life! Sexual strategy and hot girls. All hot girls are shallow. All hot girls have personality issues. All hot girls are stupid. All hot girls have problems. All hot girls are evil and two faced.

Sexual strategy is dishonest. There is more to life than sex! So the person that talks us out of it often, I think, talks us out of it because of their own fear and insecurity. Then personally even within ourselves sometimes we don't even talk to someone else about it because we imagine what they might say so we just avoid the idea entirely.

We don't even explore this possible better future because we don't want to be different than the people around us; our peer group or our family. We don't want to appear like we're trying to be better than they are and so we just push it to the side and move on. Brandon: So there are two sides to the coin here. In other words, keeping the social norms on the other end promotes peace and happiness, right?

Maybe I don't know, I'm confused at these two sides. Amanda: If we're all crabs in a bucket, it's a pretty peace, happy experience. It's when that one crab escapes that the rest of the crabs in the bucket are like, "Man, that crab escaped and he thinks he's better than us and I can't believe that crab, you know, thinking like they can get out of the bucket and leave the rest of us behind.

It's lonely out here on the outside of the bucket. Amanda: It should be. This is actually a thing in Nordic countries, they are known to be pretty happy and some people explain this happiness quota — like if you look up happiest countries, you'll find out that a bunch of them are Nordic countries.

It's part of this Norwegian culture and they have this set of codes called "The Law of Jante" or Janteloven in Danish, I'm sure I'm butchering that I'm sorry any Danish speakers out there. Janteloven is my American version of that but Jante is really just a set of social norms, it's a set of social rules and they are almost like the Ten Commandments of Jante.

We want to share them with you and you can imagine how these might promote peace and happiness. Brandon: I wonder if they are at Ikea, if that's some of the rules there? Amanda: You can look for it there. See if they have a little plaque that has the Law of Jante on there. So here we go. Number one, you are not to think you are anything special. Number two, you're not to think you're as good as we are.

Number three, you're not to think you're smarter than we are. Number four, you're not to imagine yourself better than we are. Number five, you're not to think you know more than we do. Number six, you're not to think you're more important than we are. Number seven, you're not to think you're at good at anything. Number eight, you're not to laugh at us. Number nine, you're not to think that anyone cares about you. Number ten, you're not to think that you can teach us anything. So these ten rules are often summarized as you're not to think you're anyone special or that you're better than us.

You can imagine these crabs in bucket telling this to the crab that is trying to get out. Brandon: That sounds kind of sad actually, I don't like these. Brandon: Or perceived happy. They think they are happy. Amanda: Hmm. What would you do with these Janteloven? Brandon: Well, I think we would flip them around and make them something a little more, I don't know, where we want to change; we want to better.

Maybe let's take the Jante and switch them around while applying them even to our financial future since this is a financial podcast, right? We should Amanda: Yeah, that sounds fun and since we're going to be the crabs outside the bucket, we're going to express our individuality. Let's call them Grandmaloven — you know there is Janteloven — Grandmaloven. It's actually spelled Grandmaloven or lovin', Grandmaloven.

They are going to become positive affirmations that your grandma might loving say to you. That's what we should do. Brandon: So Grandmaloven. Amanda: Grandmaloven, let's go. Brandon: Number one, you are to think that you are something special and deserve to have a financial strategy that fit you uniquely.

Amanda: Number two, you are to think you are as good as anyone else and should have your financial goals reached. Brandon: That's awesome. Number three, you're to think that you're smarter than the average bear and can understand the financial strategy you're using to better your financial future.

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Now I have to say something about this. You can have let's say a higher net worth than the financial professional you're working with because you keep more of your money and pay them less fees. Like that's okay to imagine that kind of future where you are better than we are. Brandon: Yeah, I mean I would still like to get paid a little bit and make sure that we are taken care of but also making sure our customers and the people we serve are in the best financial position and if that means taking pay cuts which we do for that that's exactly what I want to do.

Now maybe you do know more than we do about some things, I mean I hope so but most people don't want to make money management their full-time jobs nor should they. While we want to help you understand and feel comfortable with your financial strategy you probably would want to work with someone who knows more about the strategy than you do. Amanda: Yup, that's a good one, number five.

Number six, you are to think you are more important than we are. Your financial future is more important than our financial future and we have never — I don't think shared this on the podcast before but we actually have some what we call "Our Guiding Core Values and Beliefs" that we wrote for your business and one of those commitments in those core values and beliefs is to serve first.

So I want to share a quick example of how that has worked recently. Brandon: Well the financial person said, "Oh that's a great idea. I was tremendously glad that this strategy was helpful and was going to better her financial future. We continued the conversation. She ended up actually not working with me. She didn't buy a product from me. She didn't pay me a dime. She actually declined my offer but I'm still tremendously excited for her that her future is much brighter because of that idea that I was able to give her.

I trust that in some way I'll have a brighter future and it will come from some other mechanism. You know or something like that. But I am just thrilled for her that I was able to serve her and give her an idea that she found beneficial and was helpful even though I didn't necessarily get anything out of it. Brandon: So number seven, you are to think you are good at something and focus there.

Do what you do well and let us do what we do well to better your future along the way.

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Want to work out more? Move closer to a gym. Want to be more active? Move to a place with more adventure. Want to make more money? Move around people doing much, much better than you. This is not a bulletproof strategy — because no matter where you move — there will be crabs pulling you down — but if you have a specific task that seems to be harder than normal — this is one way to bust through that plateau.

Become Resilient I have no patience with people who complain about bullying. People are terrible. Then become impervious to the comments, the talk, the nonsense. Focus on what you have to do. What you must do. Realize that the comments are distractions. If you believe them, then you stop. If you look at it as noise — then all you have to do is put on your noise-cancelling headphones and keep trucking. Look In The Mirror People spend so much time focusing on what other people say about them.

You internalize the BS that other people say. You engrain it on your soul. Combine that with spending hours looking at the photoshopped junk on instagram pretending to be real and they compare it to the fake image of themselves they have in their head. The only time people use the mirror is to make sure their external appearance looks okay.

I like to use the mirror a little differently. I like to use the mirror to look at your soul. Look past your face, the wrinkles, the skin, and appearance and look into your eyes. Actually see yourself. Then, have a conversation with yourself like you would with one of your friends who was trying to do something hard. Remind yourself. Then go do it. So, if your goal seems too big to keep you going, and you start to feel the tug of the crabs pulling you back down, just focus on the next thing.

Indeed, almost everyone has experienced this kind of treatment from others, or somehow did this kind of behavior towards someone. However, it requires dedication to do so. Escaping the Crab-Bucket Prepare Yourself The first to do to get out of the bucket that you are in right now is to prepare yourself. It would be best if you prepared your mind to stick to your goal, no matter what happens, no matter what other say. In the process, you will lose something but will gain something much better — it will be an excellent trade, so do not worry.

That means if you think that your friends are hindering your growth as a person, get out of that group and try to find motivated individuals like you. If, during the process, those people tried to make gossips or made fun of you, do not care about those words.

It is better to have that white noise while you are trying to change, rather than hearing sweet words from people while being stagnant. Hang out with them. Maybe, at that time, they are trying to find new crabs that will interact with them, not in a way they will get pulled down. Remember that you started from that phase too. Set Your Goal: Have Vision For Yourself After finding new friends to help you stay motivated instead of pulling you down, use them as inspiration for your goals that you want to achieve.

It may be that those goals are for the group to accomplish. They are your set of plans, after all. The point of setting your goal or having a bucket is for you to have a direction. Sure, you could leave your old friends, but what are you going to do now?

With the goals you set, you will be able to find out what you will do next. It will be hard if you act based solely on your instinct. However, having your bucket list helps in knowing what you would want to do and enables you to understand where you should be heading.

Like a crab, once you got out of the bucket, where would you want to go next? Back to the ocean? It depends on what kind of environment your goals are most suitable. Get Out of the Pail Now that you have prepared yourself, found motivated people, and set goals, it is time to get out of the bucket you are in right now.

Remember the statement mentioned above about knowing where to go next? That step goes under this one. Going out of the bucket means setting sail to a new environment; it may be a new job or workplace or a new place to stay. The reason why a new environment is necessary is that everything that surrounds you affects your decisions. For example, you want to dedicate yourself to working out, but since the gym is distant from your house, you abandon your regular exercise plans. It also affects your mood towards something.

When you have a boss and colleagues who do not treat you properly when you are at work, you tend to feel discouraged to go to your job. Know Your Environment In the end, your environment affects you that much. That is why when you start feeling distressed about things in life; you need to change your setting to have a better view.

Also, having a new environment surrounding you will give you a reset and even refreshment. To know what kind of environment you want to be in, you must evaluate your goals and what kind of person you are. Be in a quiet atmosphere.